There He Goes Again

14 September 2009
My husband is leaving tomorrow for his third business trip in 4 weeks. The kids are in school so we never get to tag along. This time it's a short trip, 4 days. There's good and bad to him going on these trips. I love to stretch out on the bed and take up every possible inch. I hate to be the only person for the kids. With all of their activities and whatnot it's really hard for one person to get them to everything.

I'm also just a bit jealous. He gets spending money for fancy meals and entertainment that he gets to enjoy with grownups. I get to make something that my 7 year old will eat. Usually something that ends in helper. He gets maid service and he gets to read in first/business class on an airplane. I can't remember the last time I read on an airplane and I have no maid. As a matter of fact, my husband has begun to claim that our house looks like it belongs on cops when he returns home from his business trips. This is not only untrue, but it makes me want to smack him. How about, thanks for taking care of three kids by yourself, sweetie?

The trips also further his career, this can only be filed under good. His dedication to his career is the reason we can afford (barely) for me to stay home with the baby. The barely is not his fault, I'm the one with the six figure law school debt that eats up the monthly budget. I try really hard not to think about my career, or lack of one. I'm a lawyer, our life used to revolve around my career. Now, it revolves around his. It's his turn, it's only fair. Sometimes I don't care about fair and it makes me sad. If I vocalize this I am quickly reminded that I chose to have this baby, to stay home with her. Of course I did, and I don't regret it, but my career was a huge part of my identity so sometimes I mourn. That said, I love my life and wouldn't change a thing.


Shari said...

I think the majority of working moms who have made the choice to stay home have struggled with what you are going through. Remember to always keep challenging yourself so you don't feel left out of life.
Shari from